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Race Reports

CCC-UTMB 2019: Melted Blocks of Cheese

The CCC-UTMB experience was awesome and terrible and I highly recommend it. It’s really hard. It’s really beautiful. It makes a small sport feel like a big deal. There was a good three-hour period during this race during which I had embraced the freedom of quitting competitive running forever and doing anything that doesn’t involve brutalizing your body for a period of time longer than most Netflix binges. I ended up dropping around mile 44 probably more beat up than I have ever been in a race. I was ready not to race again for a long time.


A few hours of hanging out in Chamonix post-drop started to change things. The energy in the town is immense. Thousands of runners and running fans (it’s a thing!) from all over the world are really excited to be there and it’s hard not to get some of the #stoke rubbed off on you, even if you’re feeling like a Garbage Patch Kid. It’s gorgeous; one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. Stunning views that impress even as you consider taking up a new life as a Swiss cowherd to avoid having to continue a race. It’s huge for a sport that usually considers a big scene being at least 10 people hanging out for a while after a Cougar Race and it’s cool to feel like part of something big even while relishing the sport’s weird niche. It’s immensely motivating to talk to runners from around the world and trade stories and race suggestions. One of the highlights of the local cuisine involves melting and eating a giant block of cheese. What more do you need?

Dropping is always a bummer, but injuries happen. My takeaway from this race is how exciting and beautiful this sport can be, even on a miserable day. It makes the prospect of a good day sound like something really incredible.

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Featured Member Information Race Reports

SRC Member Race Reports – August 2019

Once a month (lol) we’d like to showcase the races for members courageous enough to spend a few minutes filling out a Google Form, and until we get that sick shout-out from the CEO himself on Twitter or, preferably, InstagramÂź or Bumble, we will *NOT* promote Run Gum!

I wanna hear your tales! Your submission can be as brief or long as you’d like! Better believe I’m deleting any references to Run Gum though, unless I forget!

Are you racing or have you raced in September? I did! Eighty minutes behind Evan Williams at Backcountry Rise (spoiler alert)! If so, send me a report! Fat Glass is coming up in like 10 days; I’ll accept pretty much any report of *any* activity at that den of sin!

Here’s an incomplete list of “races” I accept:

  1. Real races! (road, track, trail, relays, obstacle courses, 100 meter races in Oregon where you’re attempting to break 11 seconds, bike races at Seward Park cause you’re tired of hanging with your run friends)
  2. Not really races(?) (stair climbs for cancer research, color runs, certain Mario Kart levels, short sprints vs your friend Doug to the local Fleet Feet to not buy Run Gum)
  3. Strava CRs! (no bikes)
  4. Strava CR attempts! (definitely no bikes)
  5. Short distance personal records running away from teens who you think might have just seen you get turned down asking for an job application at QFC.

Submit Your Race Report!

Let’s hand it off to AUGUST’S 2019’s *two* boss hosses….and me!
đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»

Tyler Cox

Member #: 2086
Race name: Volcanic 50k
When was this race?: 8/3/19
How did you place?:I lost
Race website: Volcanic 50
Race report:

How many races can you do where you get to run around a whole volcano?? Possibly more than I think, but I still thought this race was cool.

Started off conservatively which was good as I got lost in the first boulder field and was only saved by a pack of 5 who actually seemed to know what they were doing and went the right way.

The race director warned of bees and sure enough I found some willing to sting me before the first aid station!

Managed to hold it together and pick some people off in the second half. I credit my ‘heat training’ that consisted of sitting in a sauna a couple times and sweating off a few gallons of water.

Ended up finishing second and had a blast!

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“How many races can you do where you get to run around a whole volcano??”

NO idea! Four?

“Possibly more than I think, but I still thought this race was cool.”

Fine, I’ll do this myself…

Damnit!

“I credit my ‘heat training’ that consisted of sitting in a sauna a couple times and sweating off a few gallons of water.”

Replace “sauna” with “library bathroom” and “a couple times” with “every Taco Tuesday” and “few gallons of water” with “Rockstar Juiced” and you have my heat training before Backcountry Rise 50k the other day where I…finished 81 minutes behind Evan Williams đŸ€Ș

I met Tyler during the 2018 XC season and was immediately endeared to him because he laughed at my jokes. Not to brag but I pretty much destroyed him in all XC races last season (by a LOT….and he’s like half my age 😎), but I don’t think I’ll ever beat him ever again in a race that doesn’t involve an NES controller.


“Big” Joe Creighton

Member #: 1028
Race name: Cougar Mtn 14.5 Mile
When was this race?: 8/10/19
How did you place?:I lost
Race website: I made this site with Derek:)
Race report:

I didn’t make it to the start line in time to hear what epic events or races Uli Steidl had run in the days leading up to this race, otherwise I might have been more confident during the middle miles on a #moist Cougar morning. As it is, I ran behind Evan Williams for about 2 miles (way too close, for way too long), and after he inevitably pulled away to hopefully not cut the course in any way, I found myself all alone in 2nd, running terrified of an #old German, the Smog Strangler, and a couple orange singlets.

I had no climbing legs this day, so I tried to and successfully made up for it with perhaps my best-ever hour-long stretch of downhill & flat trail running. My two minute lead over Uli only shrunk to like 90 seconds by the end of the race and you better believe I’m rocking my “2nd place” coffee mug at work to the delight of all the guys in the office who think they’re *really* clever.

Evan on the other hand beat me by 6 minutes and I believe had already done his cool down jog and showered by the time I’d hit the finish chute. I’m mostly certain he didn’t cut the course.

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

Shoeless Joe Sez!

I ain’t gonna comment on my own comments to my own race (I’m not a *loser*), so let’s look at the six strava login page background photos!

Hate when this one comes up, this 17 year-old ass looking kid reminds me of a cross between Andrew Miller, who dropped me at Gorge 50k in 2013 like a sack of potatoes as a 16 year old, and the #teen “comedians” at QFC who think it’s funny to point out to random strangers that I’m only buying milk and toilet paper, like they’d care (they don’t).

No way this woman uses strava, this is the company trying to convince us what their core demo–cyclists–looks like. I see (and smell) your core demo on every commute to work, strava!

We’re getting closer! Guys looking like they’re dressed for the Tour de France when really they’re just riding 15mph to work in slightly-too-threadbare (and always WHITE!!) kits that leave little to the imagination as they roar past me.

Nice ass crack, Mark!

Oh look, swimmers!


What % of strava users are primarily swim loggers? Are these literally the only two?

My favorite. Woman on the left with the “you’re not really going to use *that* photo of me are you?!” look on her face while the guy on the right looks spectacularly non-Samoan but seems to have stolen all of The Rock’s arm tattoos.

Consider me #inspiredtorun!


A-a ron, SRC Social Media đŸ˜œ

Member #: 1960
Race name: Northwest Trail Runs Somer Blast; Half ‘thon
When was this race?: 8/17/2019
How did you place?: I lost
Race website: Link
*Your* website URL: rocheam.com/move
Race report:

Tl;dr Ran a trail half, came 2nd, decided that’s better than coming 1st, still gettin’ those illicit DMs bay-BEE! #spinstercatmom #livingthedream #roastme

This was my first race since a disastrous marathon debut back at the end of April, so I had pretty low expectations. In this new training cycle, I feel like I’ve restored some balance to my life. I had time to take Sulley to the vet for her annual check-up, was able to do some house cleaning, and had even gotten around to responding to all those DMs and Hinge requests that had been stacking up all of 2018 and well into ’19. Bah, the struggles of being a cat mom, hobbyist runner, and a social media addict. Any-hoo, life was starting to feel normal and running was fun again.

Rewind to this past weekend – or probably two months ago, depending on when Joe actually gets to this. I got to the watershed in plenty of time and saw a bunch of my SRC pals who were prepping for their races and/or volunteering. Shout-out to the Northwest Trail Runs staff and volunteers for another well-organized event. 🙌

At about 9:35am, Kati started the race via her countdown; there are no guns allowed in the watershed – just horses, and people, and I guess MTB’ers? But definitely no pets, 🚹🚹🚹*GUY WITH A PET OUT THERE! I SAW YOU!* 🚹🚹🚹

So, yeah, to the race: I got out with a group of two other dudes – Bill, the winner from two years ago and again this year and Virgil, a French-looking dude who was totes side-eyeing me before the race and was wearing a bicycle kit *AND* a hydration belt. “No fucking way was I going to lose to that guy,” I whispered under my breath. Well, as fate would have it, biker bro set the pace for the first three miles. See, I know it was three miles because his watch beeped at every fucking mile. Fuck I hate that so much. *SILENCE YOUR WATCH* and have some gah damn respect for nature, d00d!

Bah, we wound up passing him just before the first aid station at about mile 4. Bill bolted ahead and I just tried to stay somewhat collected despite being furious by those GD beeps at every mile!! *Run, run, run* 8 miles later, I was still in 2nd and I started to ham it up with anyone and everyone whose path I crossed – thanks for the fly-by high-five, Dustin! I saw Somer K on the final stretch to the finish, flashed her a wink and a smile [yeah, no, I’m not that cool] and tried to get to the line under 1h27mins.

Meh. Finished in 1h27’05. Came second. Which I think can be more satisfying than coming first. And absolutely more satisfying than not coming at all. đŸ”” đŸ”” Not bad for the first race back. #seattlerunning

Have fun with this one, Joe.

Love,
A-a ron

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“…had even gotten around to responding to all those DMs and Hinge requests that had been stacking up.”

(looks at watch)

(looks up Hinge)

“Bah, the struggles of being a cat mom, hobbyist runner, and a social media addict.”

“🚹🚹🚹*GUY WITH A PET OUT THERE! I SAW YOU!* 🚹🚹🚹

I really don’t understand Pez dispensers….the candy is awful, the plastic will never biodegrade, only loser man-child collectors keep this business model afloat and how in the hell have they never had a line of pro wrestling dispensers? It’s kinda weird that a half marathoner would bring one out to Redmond Waters—OH WAIT I now see you said pets. Nevermind.

“I got out with a group of two other dudes”

They have names, you know.

Bill, the winner from two years ago and again this year and Virgil, a French-looking dude…

“French-looking dude”? So, he looks white? Let’s see what he looks like:

Definitely looks more Czech to me.

“…who was totes side-eyeing me before the race and was wearing a bicycle kit *AND* a hydration belt. ‘No fucking way was I going to lose to that guy,’ I whispered under my breath.”

Let’s see what *Virgil* had to say about the race, and if he was as concerned about you!

“This was a trail Half Marathon. Not too hilly and very runnable. Came in 3rd with a time of 1:28:22. Temp was around 65* so very comfortable. GU Roctane sux!

Well, a little less color than your report, (sigh), A-a ron, but also a bit less mean-spirited about everything until the abrupt lane change into extreme hatred of Gu Roctane (which must have given him the shits the way he slammed it amirite?)…and you better believe I noticed Roctane and Roche sharing the same first three letters…đŸ€”

“…tried to get to the line under 1h27mins. Meh. Finished in 1h27’05.”

Well this was mildly anti-climactic.

“And absolutely more satisfying than not coming at all. đŸ”” đŸ”””

You already made this joke. #seattlerunning


Archived Member Race Reports

Categories
Featured Member Information Race Reports

SRC Member Race Reports – July 2019

Once a month (lol) we’d like to showcase the races for members courageous enough to spend a few minutes filling out a Google Form, and until we get that sick shout-out from the CEO himself on Twitter or, preferably, InstagramÂź or Bumble, we will *NOT* promote Run Gum!

Winners, losers, and everyone in between (even you Masters runners!), I wanna hear your tales! Your submission can be as brief, or *long* as you’d like! Better believe I’m deleting any references to Run Gum though!

Are you racing or have you raced in August? I did! Six minutes behind Evan Williams at Cougar (spoiler alert)! Maybe you raced (and lost) to a smug-looking guy in jeans riding an e-bike? Maybe you set a PR running to the corner market for more Epic bars? Here’s an incomplete list of “races” I accept:

  1. Real races! (road, track, trail, relays, obstacle courses, 100 meter races in Oregon where you’re attempting to break 11 seconds, bike races at Seward Park cause you’re tired of hanging with your run friends)
  2. Not really races(?) (stair climbs for cancer research, color runs, certain Mario Kart levels, short sprints vs your friend Doug to the local Fleet Feet to not buy Run Gum)
  3. Strava CRs! (no bikes)
  4. Strava CR attempts! (definitely no bikes)
  5. Short distance personal records running away from teens who you think might have just seen you get turned down asking for an job application at QFC.

In order to increase the rate of submissions from its current rate of 0.4 per month, I’d like to offer the following perks to reporters!*

  1. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and buy you a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  2. I’ll buy you a haircut at Sports Clips (I have a gift card a “cool” sarcastic teen gave me last year)
  3. Marshall’s shopping spree ($12 limit)
  4. I’ll send Ginger Runner youtube comments until he agrees to check out my Pliny The Elder bottle collection and do a Shoeless Joe interview.
  5. I’ll race in my favorite Big Dogs shirt at whatever the next Rainshadow Running race I’m allowed to enter the lottery for.

*Perks will not be honored

Submit Your Race Report!

Let’s hand it off to JULY 2019’s *two* boss hosses!
đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»

Joe Kelly

Member #: 1938
Race name: White River 50
When was this race? 7/27
How did you place?! I lost
Race website: whiteriver50.org
Race report:

Cliff Notes:
– Great first half
– Leg cramps the whole 2nd half
– Shoeless Joe ass slaps
– Scream vomit

This was my first 50 miler and I got crushed. The race started off great as the weather was cool and cloudy and I was cruising through the early flat section with fellow SRCers Rob Bond and Olin Berger. Some guy with huge delts took it out fast from the gun…we thought he probably wouldn’t sustain it but the joke is on us because he beat us all. I completed the first climb comfortably and reached the out and back section just as Shoeless Joe was getting there to cheer us on. Rob had already gone through there so he missed out on a nice ass slap. The ridge section was mostly fine except for when I ran through a left turn and got confused for about 20 seconds. When I went back to the trail I noticed a long line of pink flags pointing me in the right direction. This is probably when I should have noticed that it wouldn’t be my day.

I finished the ridge section and started to feel some leg twinges on the downhill – NOT a good sign at mile 21 of a 50 mile race especially since i had been very diligent about my food and liquid intake. I cruised down to the Buck Creek aid station where I was greeted by my wife and a boatload of cheerful SRCers. I reloaded with food and drink and headed on my way knowing the 2nd half would be a challenge with my leg cramp situation (thanks Parker!).

My legs immediately locked up as I started the climb – great, only 22 more miles of this! I did my best Tin Man impersonation up to the Fawn Ridge aid station where I started to feel nauseous. I grabbed some Coke and sat down in a chair but my body was immediately like, “Nah!”, and I violently scream vomited again (this also happened on Chinscraper at Chuckanut). SRCer Paul Young who also happened to be at this aid station had some good commentary during this episode. Post puke, I ate a ton of PB&Js and watermelon and was on my way. I continued Tin Man climbing all the way up to Sun Top but fortunately the stomach was fine. I was able to run most of the way down to Skookum with some stops for calf cramps. At this point, I was singing some TLC but modified the words to be “Don’t go racing ul-ltras, stick to the shorter trail races you’re used to.” I struggled through the Skookum Flats, getting passed by a ton of runners, including a 60 year old Shoeless Joe doppelganger and Adam Hewey with a mile to go. I got another ass slap from Joe and then finished (yeah!). It was over an hour slower than I wanted but it felt good to not DNF. To add insult to injury, the second zipper on my pack broke mid-race (the first one broke a week prior).

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“Cliff Notes:”

#wellactually, it’s called CliffsNotes

Little known fact, about 80% of my college application essay was about my love of CliffsNotes. Only UC Santa Cruz accepted me. I ended up graduating from Chico State in 5 years. Now I’m here.

“- Great first half
– Leg cramps the whole 2nd half
– Shoeless Joe ass slaps”

Sounds like every White River 50 I’ve ever run

“- Scream vomit”

gifofsomeonelookingconcerned.gif

“…through the early flat section with fellow SRCers Rob Bond and Olin Berger.”

Look forward to their race reports…😒

“…and I violently scream vomited again (this also happened on Chinscraper at Chuckanut)”

dudeseriouslygotoadoctor.gif

Seriously though, thanks for reminding of the album I had on repeat during *my* first White River back in 2009

“At this point, I was singing some TLC but modified the words to be ‘Don’t go racing ul-ltras, stick to the shorter trail races you’re used to.'”

aboutoutoftimeherejoe.gif

“getting passed by a ton of runners, including a 60 year old Shoeless Joe doppelganger”

“I got another ass slap from Joe”

Thanks for alerting me to the fact that think I should maybe, umm, stop slapping guys’ asses.

“To add insult to injury, the second zipper on my pack broke mid-race (the first one broke a week prior).”

Way to bury the lede, Joe.

(Slaps ass, *hard*)


Evan Williams

Member #: 1305
Race name: The Escarpment Trail 30k
When was this race? July 28, 2019
How did you place?! 4th
Race website: http://escarpmenttrail.com/bs/
*Your* website URL: threeleftturns.weebly.com/
Race report:

The flat sections have the trickiest footing. Then, there are hands-required climbs and cliff jumping descents (except no water to land in). It’s in the east (Windham, NY), where “switch back” is not part of trail vocabulary. The weather was also humid and 92F by the second half of the race. Dick Vincent is the race director, who taught Steve Faluotico how to run, who taught me how to run. It’s becoming an annual pilgrimage, even though I haven’t “figured out” this race yet.

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“The flat sections have the trickiest footing.”

This sort of reminds me of a brief time a few years back when I tripped and fell about 3 times in 2 weeks whilst street running on sidewalks around #WestSeattle #RoadBoy #CNW

“…hands-required climbs and cliff jumping descents (except no water to land in).”

I don’t have much to make fun of or joke about in this race report of what sounds like the world’s worst race for someone like me, so I’ll just remind/inform everyone that I beat Evan fair & square* in a 10 mile race in April of this year, down in Bend.

*Ok fine, Evan wore jeans and a long-sleeve Carhartt shirt that seemed to absorb every drizzly drop of rain that fell that morning…

Pic: Liam Pickhardt

…while I exposed my hairy shoulders and thighs and beat Evan by 2 mins and 5 secs, aka the length of time required for me to chug a beer during a boat race.


Archived Member Race Reports

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Club Events Race Reports

White River 50 – 2019 Race Report

I signed up for this year’s White River 50 hoping to redeem my previous performance, which had started as a bid for a third win in a row and devolved into equal parts getting passed on climbs and squatting in the woods. Then, a couple months prior to the race, as I was throwing the training plan into high gear, I blew a hamstring and only started training again about a week before the race. Of course, I planned to race anyway for fear of losing the moral high ground needed to tease Joe Creighton about his previous DNF. Fortunately, I pay someone smarter than myself to manage my training plan and he strongly suggested I consider the health benefits of not running 50 miles on a recent injury. I’m somewhat proud of my progression as a runner that I actually took his advice.

I also learned a couple things about a DNF at White River that I hadn’t really known before:

  • The first half can be much more enjoyable knowing you don’t have to run the second half.
  • The disappointment of not completing the race lessens as you look into the hollow-eyed stares of runners contemplating the climb to Suntop as you contemplate which gummy bear flavor pairs best with Rainier.
  • Grinding down your body with physical misery isn’t always as fun as hanging out with your friends talking about those in physical misery.
  • You can still be a winner (First place DNF!)
  • The plot of everyone’s favorite 1988 Tom Cruise vehicle “Cocktail” makes as little sense after 20 miles as it does after 50.

So, redemption is on the table for next year. But, if that doesn’t happen, at least I know there’s nothing to fear in the DNF corral.

Categories
Featured Member Information Race Reports

SRC Member Race Reports – June 2019


Once a month (lol) we’d like to showcase the races for members courageous enough to spend a few minutes filling out a Google Form, and until we get that sick shout-out from the CEO himself on Twitter or, preferably, InstagramÂź, we will *NOT* promote Run Gum!

Winners, losers, and everyone in between (even you Masters runners!), I wanna hear your tales! Your submission can be as brief, or *long* as you’d like! Better believe I’m deleting any references to Run Gum though!

Are you racing in July? Cougar? Maybe you ran in a town called Carlation and won a pie? Or you ran next to someone who won a pie? Maybe you set a personal 400m record running away from an angry crow mother? Here’s an incomplete list of “races” I accept:

  1. Real races! (road, track, trail, relays, obstacle courses, chasing that teen around the track after his friend Todd dared you to race him)
  2. Not really races(?) (stair climbs for cancer research, color runs, certain Mario Kart levels)
  3. Strava CRs! (no bikes)
  4. Strava CR attempts! (definitely no bikes)
  5. Short distance personal records running away from dive-bombing crows

In order to increase the rate of submissions from its current rate of 0.3 per month, I’d like to offer the following perks to reporters!*

  1. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and buy you a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  2. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and you can see what happens when I offer to buy a random #teen a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  3. We’ll go to the nearest Target and I’ll ask the nearest non-male cashier if they have “condoms for virgins” and if so “I’ll buy 3.”
  4. I’ll email Ginger Runner over and over until he agrees to check out my Pliny The Elder bottle collection and do a Shoeless Joe interview.
  5. I’ll race in my favorite Big Dogs shirt at whatever the next Rainshadow Running race I’m allowed to enter the lottery for.

*Perks will not be honored

Submit Your Race Report!

Let’s hand it off to JUNE 2019’s kind sir whose report reads like he composed it during his (spoiler alert) mile 7 poo break!
đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»

Paul Young

Member #: 1824
Race name: Grandma’s Marathon
When was this race? 6/22/2019
How did you place?! Who cares?
Race website: grandmasmarathon.com
*Your* website URL: paulheartsdolphins
Race report:

This was my second time running Grandma’s Marathon. It’s in Duluth, Minnesota, which is upcountry Minnesota. I think Duluth is Anglo for Grandma??? It sounds like doula. Which reminds me of Paula Abdul. Um, oh the race. Well, I ran pretty poorly in my first attempt (2:55), but it was a fun time after the race in what was known as the “tents,” where all the upcountry folk and hill people come to town and jive. Anyway, I’ve been “training” at altitude so I thought I could come back to this race and find some redemption and run sub-2:40, that was my A GOAL. The B goal was to finish without projectile vomiting right before the finish like last time…unless I was close enough to the line to get it on video. Yeah, this race has cameras from the left, right, and center as you cross the finish line. I really appreciate this about the race.

Anyway, the race itself was pretty good. I ran 2:36 and 34 seconds. That’s about 6 minute pace. I went out a bit faster though, 5:50s because I knew I needed to bank some time for bathroom breaks. I took a wee leak at mile 2 and then a quick squat at mile 7. Nothing else eventful happened as it was a road race, point-to-point, net elevation loss (ie no elevation), aided by a massive tailwind. I think a headwind would have been better as it was a bit warm (60s? that’s hot for Duluth). For reference I got 138th place, but 8 of those were women. Also, I didn’t wear the 4%.

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“This was my second time running Grandma’s Marathon.”

Weird flex, but ok, continue.

“It’s in Duluth, Minnesota, which is upcountry Minnesota.”

I admit my SAT geography score wasn’t great, but when did Minnesota become a country? Is this like the Alaska or Texas or Utah thing where the state that no one likes acts all put out and continually threatens to secede from the rest of us and use dogecoin as a currency and start their *own* Ninja Warrior franchise? I only know one guy from Minnesota but I don’t speak to him anymore and I don’t care to end the feud just to ask him to clarify this for me (screw you, Patrick!).

“I think Duluth is Anglo for Grandma??? It sounds like doula. Which reminds me of Paula Abdul.”

I Bing’d “thing’s to do in duluth” and the #2 result was “ride a Lime Bike to Wisconsin.” Which reminds me to remind you all that I went to same high school as Aaron Rodgers and I know a couple guys who know his brother.

“Um, oh the race.”

“Anyway, the race itself was pretty good. I ran 2:36 and 34 seconds.”

“That’s about 6 minute pace.”

“…aided by a massive tailwind. I think a headwind would have been better as it was a bit warm.”

Uh huh. Nothing farts up a marathon performance than one of those annoying tailwinds. Turn that wind around and you def woulda been 2:2x!

For real though Paulie, that’s a helluva performance….writing this race report! And your marathon result is one to be proud of as well! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fall into a Paula Abdul music video wormhole and pretend I’m Keanu Reeves.


Archived Member Race Reports

Categories
Featured Member Information Race Reports

SRC Member Race Reports – May 2019

📾Evan Williams

Once a month (lol) we’d like to showcase the races for members courageous enough to spend a few minutes filling out a Google Form, and until we get that sick shout-out from the CEO himself on Twitter or, preferably, InstagramÂź, we will *NOT* promote Run Gum!

Winners, losers, and everyone in between (even you Masters runners!), I wanna hear your tales! Your submission can be as brief, or *long* as you’d like! Better believe I’m deleting any references to Run Gum though!

Are you racing in June? Cougar? Probably! Rock & Roll?! (Haha!) Here’s an incomplete list of “races” I accept:

  1. Real races! (road, track, trail, relays, obstacle courses, chasing that teen around the track after his friend Todd dared you to race him)
  2. Not really races(?) (stair climbs for cancer research, color runs, certain Mario Kart levels)
  3. Strava CRs! (no bikes)
  4. Strava CR attempts! (definitely no bikes)

In order to increase the rate of submissions from its current rate of 0.2 per month, I’d like to offer the following perks to reporters!*

  1. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and buy you a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  2. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and you can see what happens when I offer to buy a random #teen a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  3. We’ll go to the nearest Target and I’ll ask the nearest non-male cashier if they have “condoms for virgins” and if so “I’ll buy 3.”
  4. I’ll email Ginger Runner over and over until he agrees to check out my Pliny The Elder bottle collection and do a Shoeless Joe interview.
  5. I’ll race in my favorite Big Dogs shirt at whatever the next Rainshadow Running race I’m allowed to enter the lottery for.

*Perks will not be honored

Submit Your Race Report!

Let’s hand it off to MAY 2019’s brave soul who obviously spent a lot of time on his report and I can see why so many of you are intimidated to do so yourself!
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Brett Winegar

Member #: 1830
Race name: Sun Mountain 25K
When was this race?05-19-2019
How did you place?! 2nd – by 4 seconds and closing
Race website: Ultrasignup
Race report:

Sun Mountain – finished 2nd by 4 seconds. Don’t know who the winner was but I was so freaking close to catching him…just ran out of distance. He gapped me by a good minute in the first half. There was a CNW guy that was dogging me most of the race. I finally put a couple minutes on him in the last 3 to 4 miles while I was trying to chase down the winner. All 3 of us had a huge gap on the rest of the field.

I was 2:05:32. Times where slower this year but the course had a few little changes that made it a little longer…just a hair under 17 miles total.

It was a very solid race for me – I ran as well as I could on the day.

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

📾Evan Williams

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“There was a CNW guy”

Booooo!

“…that was dogging me most of the race.”

I’m….wait what?

“Times where slower this year but the course had a few little changes that made it a little longer”

I used to “dog” races that changed their course every year, but now that Cougar Mtn had to change it a bit this year on account of felled trees, I now have no issues with course changes because I am cool.

In fact the Sun Mountain 50k I ran a number of years ago before lotteries were a thing and I remember multiple junctions of no signage and got frustrated and gave up and stopped “racing” and later wrote a whiny pity-party blog post about it that maybe 3 people read but one of those three was the race director and he apologized and I felt bad and so to make it right I made sure my site was hosted by a shit company that eventually lost my database and of course I didn’t back it up so the whiny post is gone.


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SRC Member Race Reports – April 2019

Once a month (lol) we’d like to showcase the races for members courageous enough to spend a few minutes filling out a Google Form, and until we get that sick shout-out from the CEO himself on Twitter or, preferably, InstagramÂź, we will *NOT* promote Run Gum!

Winners, losers, and everyone in between (even you Masters runners!), I wanna hear your tales! Your submission can be as brief, or *long* as you’d like! Better believe I’m deleting any references to Run Gum though!

Are you racing in May? Cougar? Probably! (No Run Gum at Cougar aid stations, I can assure you) Here’s an incomplete list of “races” I accept:

  1. Real races! (road, track, trail, relays, obstacle courses, chasing that teen around the track after his friend Todd dared you to race him)
  2. Not really races(?) (stair climbs for cancer research, color runs, certain Mario Kart levels)
  3. Strava CRs! (no bikes)
  4. Strava CR attempts! (definitely no bikes)

In order to increase the rate of submissions from its current rate of 0.2 per month, I’d like to offer the following perks to reporters!*

  1. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and buy you a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  2. I’ll go with you to the nearest QFC and you can see what happens when I offer to buy a random #teen a 6 pack of Leinenkugel.
  3. We’ll go to the nearest Target and I’ll ask the nearest non-male cashier if they have “condoms for virgins” and if so “I’ll buy 3.”
  4. I’ll email Ginger Runner over and over until he agrees to check out my Pliny The Elder bottle collection and do a Shoeless Joe interview.
  5. I’ll race in my favorite Big Dogs shirt at whatever the next Rainshadow Running race I’m allowed to enter the lottery for.

*Perks will not be honored

Submit Your Race Report!

Let’s hand it off to APRIL 2019’s ruthless & rabid reporters, starting off with a familiar face!
đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»đŸ”»

“Big” Joe Creighton

Member #: 1029
Race name: Horse Butte 10 Mile
When was this race? 4/07/19
How did you place?! Who cares, I beat Evan Williams*
Race website: results
*Your* website URL: boyz.exposed
Race report:

TBH I mostly only agreed to join Stefan Redfield and Evan Williams at this race in Central Oregon as I wanted to see Max King’s calf vasculature up close and in person.

My dad mailed me a birthday check, but it bounced, so when my mom wired me my birthday money a few days later, I signed up and found a pair of 1991 Guns & Roses Tour denim shorts to rock. The race sort or requires it of anyone running semi-seriously to wear denim since the inevitable winner every year (King) cosplays as a roided-up Al Borlan in shorts and Salomons. I’m going to wear my full Nike kit that I got on clearance at Big 5 and lose to King by four and half minutes instead of five minutes in daisy dukes? Nahhhhh.

(Shows clerk at Goodwill my handful of denim shorts made for 14 year old girls)
“I’d like to use the change room, please. Also do you guys sell Monster Energy?”

Ten miles and a breakfast of four (4) bananas later, I finished 4th place, seconds behind Stefan’s college friend who wore the (orange 😒) Nike kit he got from Big 5 and somehow still managed to have a wife, so I maintained 3rd overall in the Denim Division.

A few minutes after finishing, the race director congratulated me on being the first Masters finisher.
*Evan raced in full length jeans

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):


Martin Criminale

Member #: 1348
Race name: REVEL Mt Charleston Marathon
When was this race? 4/27/19
How did you place?! I won
Race website: runrevel.com/rmc
*Your* website URL: martin.criminale.com
Race report:

This is a downhill course and is all about qualifying for Boston. The first half descends, the second half is mostly flat with some short climbs in the last five miles. I started out feeling great! Doesn’t everyone in a downhill road race? But when I hit a hill at mile 22 the wheels came off. Luckily I had enough time in the bank to win my age group and I got a marathon PR. This is a VERY well supported event, there are aid stations every two miles and they all appeared to have toilets. The finish line expo is also pretty good with everyone getting one free beer, piece of pizza, and slice of pie. They also had towels soaked in cold water! That felt heavenly after running the Las Vegas heat.

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“This is a downhill course and is all about qualifying for Boston.”

Did Rufus make it this time?!

“The finish line expo is also pretty good with everyone getting one free beer, piece of pizza, and slice of pie.”

Is this was the Seattle Marathon, the halfers would have walked off with an average of 4 beers (Red Hook oh yeah!!) & pizza+pie slices apiece, leaving you marathoners with one warm milk, one cup of limp celery, and one dixie cup of raisins apiece.

“They also had towels soaked in cold water!”

We marathoning in a Mad Max society now? How is “cold water” getting a shout out in a race report?

“(nothing about experiencing Carrot Top’s act at Luxor)”

I know I’m asking for “race reports” but in my mind, the true race experience isn’t relegated merely to between the start gun and finish line; it’s also about describing at length Carrot Top’s set at the Luxor later than evening! *Most* marathoners hit a hill around mile 22 and the wheels fall off, but how many can describe witnessing a yoked Carrot Top pulling his latest wacky inventions out of a steamer trunk a mere 12 hours later?!


Marlene Farrell

Member #: 1155
Race name: Horse Lake 25k Trail race and Sunflower Trail Marathon
When was this race? 4/27 (Horse Lake) and 5/4 (Sunflower)
How did you place?! 2nd woman, 1st master’s at Horse Lake and 3rd woman, 1st Master’s at Sunflower.
Race website: Horse Lake
Sunflower
Race report:

Horse Lake had crazy winds (over 30mph) and hail. I’m proud of my result at Sunflower because I really wasn’t recovered from Horse Lake and I made the poor decision of wearing new shoes which made my feet feel like they were on fire. But I loved the wildflowers, as always, at both of these races.

Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No

Shoeless Joe Sez!

“I made the poor decision of wearing new shoes which made my feet feel like they were on fire.”


You know, I know no one thinks Vibram makes shoes anymore, but they–hold on, let me check…

Ok yeah they still make shoes and let me assure you they no longer pay me to pimp them out, but the airflow you get from some of their models can be, with the right post-purchase adjustments made using a sharp knife or pair of scissors, marginally better than some of these “fancy” or “cool” shoes you can still purchase at actual brick & mortar shops.

Keep a spot open at the Cool Masters Table for me, Marlene! I’m on my way!


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Dehydrating at Canyons 100k

It’s taking a while for me to fully appreciate, but slowly sinking into my brain is the concept that ultra racing is pretty hard. I’ve always felt that one of my great strengths lies in a lack of trepidation about taking on any distance or race, as I don’t hesitate to throw myself in the mix and give it a shot. The downside of this method comes about 60% into a race when things start getting rocky and reality comes flying at me with an elbow from the top rope. But, over the last couple years of racing I’ve been learning how to take the hit.

I came into The Canyons 100k off a great training block and joined a field of many other golden ticket-seeking hopefuls with similar skill levels. It was feeling like it could be anyone’s race without relying on missed turns or allergic reactions to take out a front-runner. After the first 50k, the climbing legs had done their thing and I came through the half right on plan in 6th place around 10-15 minutes off the lead. Here’s where I hoped the leaders would fade a bit and I would surge. Instead the heat surged and a Seattle spring had left me unprepared for the California sun. I made it to the turnaround at Rucky Chucky mainly via sponge baths at every aid station. I was getting caught by a few runners at that point, which provided enough motivation to get my legs back under me and tough it out through the final quarter, during which I managed to get back my 6th place spot. It wasn’t the best race, but it’s always nice to finish on and upswing and running instead of dragging myself in just to avoid a DNF. Chalk this one up as experience earned and a stepping-stone towards something better.

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FOURmidable 50k – 2019 US 50k Trail National Championships

After a brief warm up and one last porta potty stop, I did a couple of strides and went to the start line. I chatted briefly with the lady next to me and then the countdown began. Strangely, I wasn’t nervous (unlike one of the ladies standing near me who looked petrified). I don’t know if it was because I have run so many races or because I knew my training hadn’t been ideal, but I knew I was as prepared as I was going to be and being nervous wasn’t going to change anything for the better.

As the race started, I reminded myself that I needed to run my own race. Generally one of my strengths, I didn’t do a good job of that at the 50k championships in August and I was determined to do so this time. Having been warned that people bomb down the first downhill and not wanting to blow my quads up early I kept things calm, but strong. This also meant I ended up being alone.

On the first climb, I caught up to and passed a few guys. Some of the guys and I ended up forming a pack for a few miles. During that time, the guys nicknamed me “The Little Climber.” It was fun to have a group, but I had hoped to be around some women and none were in sight in either direction.

The middle of the race was a jumble of things with none of it being particularly exciting. There was some mud, SO MUCH WATER, and still no women. I continued to play leap frog with one of the guys from the earlier pack. Every downhill he would eventually catch up and pass me and every uphill I would eventually catch up and pass him. It was nice to have that friendly face there, but still no women.

Shortly after mile 17 I was completely alone. Now it was even more important to keep pushing. I had continued to remind myself that I didn’t know what was going on ahead of or behind me. If I didn’t stay focused to keep pushing hard, I might not catch a lady ahead who I couldn’t see who was faltering. And I sure didn’t want anyone creeping up from behind!

This section was ridiculously wet. It had been wet earlier – including the creek crossing I had been warned about around mile 12-13 and the one I didn’t have a clue about that was thigh-high (and, fortunately for me, they put up a rope to hang onto by the time I came through– but that didn’t hold a candle to the amount of water we would encounter on the trails in this section. Every trail was a creek, flat sections were ponds, and there were bridges that lead you over water only to end in another “pond.” At one point (ok, this happened more than once), I exasperatedly said out loud to myself, “You’ve got to be kidding! No more water!” There was more water.

Just before the second-to-the-last aid station, there were people yelling to me that I was the 6th woman. “That’s impossible,” I said in response. I had been in 9th place since mile 2 and hadn’t passed, been passed, or even seen a woman since then. There was no way three women ahead of me had dropped out. They again told me I was in 6th and that the 5th place woman wasn’t too far ahead and she looked terrible. I didn’t think it was true, but if it was, the top 5 earn prize money and if the lady ahead was feeling like crap, I was going to hunt her down and pass her!

More water awaited on the trails, making it that much more difficult to pick up the pace. I was still alone and in some sections I could see 3 or 4 minutes ahead. No terrible-feeling woman was in sight. No man – feeling good or bad – was in sight. No one. It was just me and the creeks, er, trails. At one place, three people were standing next to the trail. I sarcastically asked, “Is it always this wet here?” “NO!!!!” they exclaimed. I laughed as I ran off, tromping through more wet trails.

During the last few miles of this hilly and wet 50k I reminded myself to keep on it because there were two pretty demanding uphills to go, so it was possible that “The Little Climber” could still catch someone. I also had no idea who was behind me and how close they were. I knew Bree Lambert was back there somewhere. She’s a fast, tough masters runner and I didn’t want to get caught in the last few miles and end up not defending my masters title from last year after being in the lead for so long.

At this point, I started to feel hungry and thirsty. The sun decided to show itself a bit and, having chosen to wear a black long-sleeve with tight arms, I couldn’t roll up my sleeves. Go away sun! This section was dry (yes, dry!), open, and I was nearing the end of a long race with steep climbing ahead. I didn’t need to get too warm now.

Finally, I saw a woman ahead! She is a crazy fast runner and was walking, so I knew she was feeling terrible (mad respect for walking it in). After I passed her I wondered, was I in 5th or 8th place now? Who knows? All I knew is that I was going downhill again. That meant the upcoming uphill section was going to be even steeper. And it was quite steep. At one point I tried fast hiking (which I never do) to see if it was more efficient. It wasn’t and it didn’t feel good, so I went back to “running.”

As I neared the finish line, there was a trail to the right and a trail going up. The lady I talked with at the start had told me that the end was convoluted and they made you run around the finish line before crossing it, so I thought I probably had to go to the right. I was trying to break 5 hours and my watch said 4:59, so I was getting close! Fortunately, two ladies were sitting there. “Which way do I go?!?!” “Go straight up!” “Thank you,” I huffed as I pushed up, crossing the finish line in 4:59:14.

Did I finish in 5th or 8th? I had already prepared myself not to get excited. I’m good at counting what place I’m in. No woman had passed me and I had only passed one, so I must have been in 8th. Sadly, nothing was announced as I came in other than my name and that I was from Seattle. What place was I?! Didn’t I just win the masters national championship?! A woman put a medal over my head and I somewhat frantically asked her, “What place did I finish?!” “I don’t know.” Pointing to the lady to her right who was writing on a clipboard she said, “She should know.” I again asked, “What place am I?” “I don’t know,” she replied (what was on the clipboard then?). Finally, a guy I had met the evening before came out of a tent near the finish to congratulate me. He gave me a big hug and I asked him, “Do you know what place I finished?!” He said he didn’t and went back into the tent to find out. He came out quickly and told me I was 7th. 7th?! That wasn’t one of the options. Was he sure? Yes. Was I the first masters woman? Let me check…Yes. Yes!!

Shortly after finishing, Uli came over to me. He finished 2nd master and 13th overall. Walking into the finish area tent, I learned that my teammate, Evan, had finished 3rd overall. Awesome!!! What an incredible showing by SRC! Third place male overall, 13th place male overall and 2nd masters, and 7th place female overall and 1st place masters. Go Team Blue!

Here’s a link to my race photos: https://facchinophotography.zenfolio.com

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2019 Chuckanut 50k

Olin Berger at the 2019 Chuckanut 50kI now have three strikes at running a sub-4 at Chuckanut. Fortunately, ultra-running results tell you near to nothing outside of context. Times can’t really be compared across races of the same distance or even between different years of the same race due to changes in course routes and conditions. Not that you would know it by looking at the times of the fast boys in the top two podium spots, but there was a decent amount of snow on the course this year which made a couple miles of Cleator Road and the backside of the course less than optimal.

Near optimal, however, was how I felt I ran this year. I tend to set pretty high goals for myself and far too often let my efforts diminish when I know they become out of reach. This year I opted not to allow this by avoiding looking at my watch after the last aid station. Not allowing myself the chance to slack off by never knowing how close I was to my goal time. I finally had a strong push throughout the last 10k and managed to pick off a few runners in the process. Being ~20 seconds off of 4th and under two minutes off of the podium was tough, but it is much easier to shave off those seconds in a mental re-cap than mid-event. I’m about as happy as I ever expected to be after that race; perhaps most of all because I vanquished the ghost of many races past in which local Masters/Master runner Masazumi Fujioka crushed me in the final miles, painfully instilling lessons of pacing. I’m hoping not to repeat those particular lessons ever again.

I’m feeling confident after this one, heading into next month’s Canyons 100k.

Full Results