Once a month (lol) we’d like to showcase the races for members courageous enough to spend a few minutes filling out a Google Form, and until we get that sick shout-out from the CEO himself on Twitter or, preferably, Instagram® or Bumble, we will *NOT* promote Run Gum!
I wanna hear your tales! Your submission can be as brief or long as you’d like! Better believe I’m deleting any references to Run Gum though, unless I forget!
Are you racing or have you raced in September? I did! Eighty minutes behind Evan Williams at Backcountry Rise (spoiler alert)! If so, send me a report! Fat Glass is coming up in like 10 days; I’ll accept pretty much any report of *any* activity at that den of sin!
Here’s an incomplete list of “races” I accept:
- Real races! (road, track, trail, relays, obstacle courses, 100 meter races in Oregon where you’re attempting to break 11 seconds, bike races at Seward Park cause you’re tired of hanging with your run friends)
- Not really races(?) (stair climbs for cancer research, color runs, certain Mario Kart levels, short sprints vs your friend Doug to the local Fleet Feet to not buy Run Gum)
- Strava CRs! (no bikes)
- Strava CR attempts! (definitely no bikes)
- Short distance personal records running away from teens who you think might have just seen you get turned down asking for an job application at QFC.
Let’s hand it off to AUGUST’S 2019’s *two* boss hosses….and me!
🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻
Tyler Cox
Member #: 2086
Race name: Volcanic 50k
When was this race?: 8/3/19
How did you place?:I lost
Race website: Volcanic 50
Race report:
How many races can you do where you get to run around a whole volcano?? Possibly more than I think, but I still thought this race was cool.
Started off conservatively which was good as I got lost in the first boulder field and was only saved by a pack of 5 who actually seemed to know what they were doing and went the right way.
The race director warned of bees and sure enough I found some willing to sting me before the first aid station!
Managed to hold it together and pick some people off in the second half. I credit my ‘heat training’ that consisted of sitting in a sauna a couple times and sweating off a few gallons of water.
Ended up finishing second and had a blast!
Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):
Shoeless Joe Sez!
“How many races can you do where you get to run around a whole volcano??”
NO idea! Four?
“Possibly more than I think, but I still thought this race was cool.”
Fine, I’ll do this myself…
Damnit!
“I credit my ‘heat training’ that consisted of sitting in a sauna a couple times and sweating off a few gallons of water.”
Replace “sauna” with “library bathroom” and “a couple times” with “every Taco Tuesday” and “few gallons of water” with “Rockstar Juiced” and you have my heat training before Backcountry Rise 50k the other day where I…finished 81 minutes behind Evan Williams 🤪
I met Tyler during the 2018 XC season and was immediately endeared to him because he laughed at my jokes. Not to brag but I pretty much destroyed him in all XC races last season (by a LOT….and he’s like half my age 😎), but I don’t think I’ll ever beat him ever again in a race that doesn’t involve an NES controller.
“Big” Joe Creighton
Member #: 1028
Race name: Cougar Mtn 14.5 Mile
When was this race?: 8/10/19
How did you place?:I lost
Race website: I made this site with Derek:)
Race report:
I didn’t make it to the start line in time to hear what epic events or races Uli Steidl had run in the days leading up to this race, otherwise I might have been more confident during the middle miles on a #moist Cougar morning. As it is, I ran behind Evan Williams for about 2 miles (way too close, for way too long), and after he inevitably pulled away to hopefully not cut the course in any way, I found myself all alone in 2nd, running terrified of an #old German, the Smog Strangler, and a couple orange singlets.
I had no climbing legs this day, so I tried to and successfully made up for it with perhaps my best-ever hour-long stretch of downhill & flat trail running. My two minute lead over Uli only shrunk to like 90 seconds by the end of the race and you better believe I’m rocking my “2nd place” coffee mug at work to the delight of all the guys in the office who think they’re *really* clever.
Evan on the other hand beat me by 6 minutes and I believe had already done his cool down jog and showered by the time I’d hit the finish chute. I’m mostly certain he didn’t cut the course.
Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):
Shoeless Joe Sez!
I ain’t gonna comment on my own comments to my own race (I’m not a *loser*), so let’s look at the six strava login page background photos!
Hate when this one comes up, this 17 year-old ass looking kid reminds me of a cross between Andrew Miller, who dropped me at Gorge 50k in 2013 like a sack of potatoes as a 16 year old, and the #teen “comedians” at QFC who think it’s funny to point out to random strangers that I’m only buying milk and toilet paper, like they’d care (they don’t).
No way this woman uses strava, this is the company trying to convince us what their core demo–cyclists–looks like. I see (and smell) your core demo on every commute to work, strava!
We’re getting closer! Guys looking like they’re dressed for the Tour de France when really they’re just riding 15mph to work in slightly-too-threadbare (and always WHITE!!) kits that leave little to the imagination as they roar past me.
Nice ass crack, Mark!
Oh look, swimmers!
What % of strava users are primarily swim loggers? Are these literally the only two?
My favorite. Woman on the left with the “you’re not really going to use *that* photo of me are you?!” look on her face while the guy on the right looks spectacularly non-Samoan but seems to have stolen all of The Rock’s arm tattoos.
Consider me #inspiredtorun!
A-a ron, SRC Social Media 😽
Member #: 1960
Race name: Northwest Trail Runs Somer Blast; Half ‘thon
When was this race?: 8/17/2019
How did you place?: I lost
Race website: Link
*Your* website URL: rocheam.com/move
Race report:
Tl;dr Ran a trail half, came 2nd, decided that’s better than coming 1st, still gettin’ those illicit DMs bay-BEE! #spinstercatmom #livingthedream #roastme
This was my first race since a disastrous marathon debut back at the end of April, so I had pretty low expectations. In this new training cycle, I feel like I’ve restored some balance to my life. I had time to take Sulley to the vet for her annual check-up, was able to do some house cleaning, and had even gotten around to responding to all those DMs and Hinge requests that had been stacking up all of 2018 and well into ’19. Bah, the struggles of being a cat mom, hobbyist runner, and a social media addict. Any-hoo, life was starting to feel normal and running was fun again.
Rewind to this past weekend – or probably two months ago, depending on when Joe actually gets to this. I got to the watershed in plenty of time and saw a bunch of my SRC pals who were prepping for their races and/or volunteering. Shout-out to the Northwest Trail Runs staff and volunteers for another well-organized event. 🙌
At about 9:35am, Kati started the race via her countdown; there are no guns allowed in the watershed – just horses, and people, and I guess MTB’ers? But definitely no pets, 🚨🚨🚨*GUY WITH A PET OUT THERE! I SAW YOU!* 🚨🚨🚨
So, yeah, to the race: I got out with a group of two other dudes – Bill, the winner from two years ago and again this year and Virgil, a French-looking dude who was totes side-eyeing me before the race and was wearing a bicycle kit *AND* a hydration belt. “No fucking way was I going to lose to that guy,” I whispered under my breath. Well, as fate would have it, biker bro set the pace for the first three miles. See, I know it was three miles because his watch beeped at every fucking mile. Fuck I hate that so much. *SILENCE YOUR WATCH* and have some gah damn respect for nature, d00d!
Bah, we wound up passing him just before the first aid station at about mile 4. Bill bolted ahead and I just tried to stay somewhat collected despite being furious by those GD beeps at every mile!! *Run, run, run* 8 miles later, I was still in 2nd and I started to ham it up with anyone and everyone whose path I crossed – thanks for the fly-by high-five, Dustin! I saw Somer K on the final stretch to the finish, flashed her a wink and a smile [yeah, no, I’m not that cool] and tried to get to the line under 1h27mins.
Meh. Finished in 1h27’05. Came second. Which I think can be more satisfying than coming first. And absolutely more satisfying than not coming at all. 🔵 🔵 Not bad for the first race back. #seattlerunning
Have fun with this one, Joe.
Love,
A-a ron
Did iRunFar interview you before or after the race?: No
Race image(s):
Shoeless Joe Sez!
“…had even gotten around to responding to all those DMs and Hinge requests that had been stacking up.”
(looks at watch)
(looks up Hinge)
“Bah, the struggles of being a cat mom, hobbyist runner, and a social media addict.”
“🚨🚨🚨*GUY WITH A PET OUT THERE! I SAW YOU!* 🚨🚨🚨
I really don’t understand Pez dispensers….the candy is awful, the plastic will never biodegrade, only loser man-child collectors keep this business model afloat and how in the hell have they never had a line of pro wrestling dispensers? It’s kinda weird that a half marathoner would bring one out to Redmond Waters—OH WAIT I now see you said pets. Nevermind.
“I got out with a group of two other dudes”
They have names, you know.
Bill, the winner from two years ago and again this year and Virgil, a French-looking dude…
“French-looking dude”? So, he looks white? Let’s see what he looks like:
Definitely looks more Czech to me.
“…who was totes side-eyeing me before the race and was wearing a bicycle kit *AND* a hydration belt. ‘No fucking way was I going to lose to that guy,’ I whispered under my breath.”
Let’s see what *Virgil* had to say about the race, and if he was as concerned about you!
“This was a trail Half Marathon. Not too hilly and very runnable. Came in 3rd with a time of 1:28:22. Temp was around 65* so very comfortable. GU Roctane sux!
Well, a little less color than your report, (sigh), A-a ron, but also a bit less mean-spirited about everything until the abrupt lane change into extreme hatred of Gu Roctane (which must have given him the shits the way he slammed it amirite?)…and you better believe I noticed Roctane and Roche sharing the same first three letters…🤔
“…tried to get to the line under 1h27mins. Meh. Finished in 1h27’05.”
Well this was mildly anti-climactic.
“And absolutely more satisfying than not coming at all. 🔵 🔵”
You already made this joke. #seattlerunning
